Boyfriend?

I swore when I started this blog that I was going to be better at actually posting, epic fail on my part. I feel like I haven't had anything to say. I started this blog with the intention of telling bad date horror stories, I never stopped to consider what would happen if I actually had good dates. That's the problem I'm finding myself in now, I've gone from bad dates to pretty decent relationship.

I mentioned this guy in the last entry, he's the one who wasn't deserving of a bad date blog, and now a few months later, he still isn't. I'm definitely thankful for that. I like the fact that I've found someone I enjoy being with who doesn't treat me badly or tell me about his rectal bleeding.

I do have to admit though that it feels kind of odd to be the girl who can refer to someone as her boyfriend. I spent so many years being the girl that had the bad dates and who was destined to be single. In fact one of my favorite lines was "and that is why I'm single." There was something about single that was fun, as awful as I always said it was there was something to be said about there always being the possibility of something.

I had fun with the online profiles, the email conversations with complete strangers, and then of course the first dates. There's a part of me that misses that. I sort of miss the possibility of a horrible date that results in a fabulous story to tell later. Of course there was the possibility of having the fabulous date, but that's what I have now.

I feel slightly ridiculous saying things like that, but it's true. I can't think of a time when I've been with my boyfriend (and I have to admit I still cringe a little every time I say that word) that I've had a bad time. I always enjoy his company and find myself more and more attached to him.

The fact that I am becoming more attached could explain why I miss the bad first dates. Actually being in a relationship is so much scarier than a first date. The more time I spend with this guy the more involved I become and the more I have to lose if something goes wrong.

There's something safe about being single.

But there's also something incredibly lonely about it. It may not be hard to get those first dates, or even the second, but there's something comforting about knowing there doesn't have to be a mad search for a date when a wedding invitation arrives, and it's nice to know that I pretty much have a standing date for Saturday night.

So I suppose what this all boils down to is that I'm ditching the bad first dates and the emotionally safe single life for a relationship. I've gotten used to the single life and all that involved and I feel like I'm venturing into uncharted waters.